things i will not miss about new york

• rain
• bird species eating chicken off of chicken wing bones tossed on the sidewalk
• dog poop olympics
• slipping on used condoms while walking down the street
• dirty diapers in the ocean
• the smell of urine in the summertime
• $8 budweiser
• poor parenting on the subways
• sketchy landlords
• car blowjob operations on my block
• hipsters
• trust fundees (i realize this could be repeating the above)
• target that feels like the shittiest kmart you've ever entered, minus the merchandise
• long lines for everything
  
• the guy with shit in his pants who always seems to take the g at the same time i do
• the g

stay tuned for things i WILL miss about new york!